Driving Ms. Ines

Two summers ago, Julianne and I volunteered in our ESL class at church. I really wanted to get to know people from a different culture and thought this might be a good way to do it. One man in particular, Flavier. was very engaging. He was from the Congo and spoke English very well.

Last May, his wife Ines came from Gabon in the Congo to finally join him 1 1/2e years after they were married. They had only spent 5 days together before he was given the go ahead to move to Colorado Springs. He came here, learned to speak English, although he taken classes in Gabon, and got a job at Memorial Hospital right near our house. When Ines came, several of our church communities got together to collect household goods and fix up his apt. for his bride. I put a note in a card to him stating that I lived near where he worked if he ever needed a ride. Well, he kept that note. and in Nov. he called me explaining that Ines had gotten a job at the hospital as well but they were working opposite shifts and she would need a ride home in the afternoons.

So began my friendship with Ines. I pretty much sound like the ignorant American to her, I'm sure. with all my questions, like,"did you live in a house?" I'm thinking she lived in a tent, in a refugee camp. She looked at me like I was crazy! "A house, yes, of course, like these!" She said, pointing to the neighborhoods we pass by. I grill her about food, clothing, her family, if they had tv, computers, etc. She is, for the most part, patient with me, although she laughs often, I'm not sure if it's at me, or because she's not sure what I asked her, but no matter, we have had some good conversations every day.

Ines has expanded my white upper middle class world and educated me about hers. She grew up in a beautiful country with brothers and sisters. She has a sister living in France. She talks to her parents every week. She was an elementary school teacher. She met Flavier at church. She doesn't like chocolate. She doesn't understand why Americans are so "crazy" about chocolate. She eats mostly fish, plantains, and rice. She loves bananas. They really don't eat bread, but sometimes she makes cake. No wonder she looks the way she does! She braids hair as a side business, and does quite well for herself. Today she told me she was going to do a weave for a "white American" for the first time.

Ines is intelligent, beautiful and has had to humble herself quite a bit coming into our culture. In her country, she was a university educated professional teacher. Now, she works in housekeeping until her language skills can improve enough to attend the university here and become a professional in her new country. She is hoping that she can get her driver's license in the next few weeks, so sadly for me, our driving conversations will come to an end. I am hoping that we will continue our friendship long after she gets her license and and is driving herself to and from work.

What a surprise my friendship with Ines has been. I thought I would be educating her all about American culture, but instead, she has been the teacher all along.