We had no one to rely upon but each other and God. Our kids saw our weaknesses and our struggles and our fears. But, they also saw us living out our faith-trusting in God like we had never before. We grew so much as a family. There were lots of fun times: watching the older kids get to know their new brother and sister, experience the joy of each new stage with 2 babies! That was lots of fun. Plus, they were so darn adorable!
It was a struggle though, every day through those 16 months not to give in to despair. At first, we had to deal with medical issues and developmental delays with Abby. To watch her now, listen to her read, you would never know those delays existed. There were fears of autism, brain injury, not to mention fears of the unknown years ahead. The medical and delay fears are gone as we see our healthy and developmentally on target kids now. But, it still has not been easy with the twins. We have dealt with issues that we never anticipated and are still dealing with some things that have perplexed us and shaken us. We have read numerous books written by experts on everything from ADD, anger, raising boys, raising girls, discipline, the strong-willed, the explosive, the hurting and the adopted child. We still have questions unanswered, but we know we can trust in the God who made our children to guide us and give us wisdom.
And, we know that He will never leave us alone to make our own way.
Have we ever questioned our decision to adopt? Yes, more than once. Do we know without a doubt that it was God's plan for our family? Yes, absolutely. Has it been easy? No. Has it been worth it? Yes, definitely. Has God used all of our children to bring about our sanctification? Yes, and we know that there are many more trials that He will take us through to make us more like Him and bring us to our knees. And, you know what? It's okay. It's okay that I freak out sometimes, because God never does. It's okay that I'm not in control of my kid's future, because God is and always has been and always will be.
I love the Lord, because He has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because He inclined His ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live. Psalm 116:1-2.